That’s where you’ll find the main info behind it. Bullet Journals are part diary, part journal, part calendar. And the way it’s done means you’re in control of how the information is saved, with an indexing system that’s quite adaptable.
I got a new notebook today. That’ll serve as my new journal for 2019.
My last one covered October 2017 to June 2018. This was the period of increasingly poor mental health leading up to my wee visit to hospital. And the last message in the journal? My suicide note. Yikes.
Anyway, the plan is to see how I can use it to improve myself rather than chart my slow deterioration into madness and self-destruction.
Let’s end on a happier note.
I picked up the film Species the other day. Once the child has settled down to bed I’ll enjoy the delights of a H.R. Giger designed Natasha Henstridge.
No, not a sermon on the devilry of over-used plastic surgery but a few thoughts on that other scourge of our times… Warhammer!
I had a long term strategy where I wouldn’t use any model that wasn’t fully painted. Problem is my painting speed is glacial. So I have a number of boxes of wee plastic men who haven’t seen any tactical game action.
The last few games, however, I’ve brought out a few tanks that aren’t quite finished. Then a squad that haven’t seen anything other than undercoat.
And that got me thinking, why am I doing this to myself?
This week I’m going to unbox as much as possible and glue it up so that it’s usable for a game. I wonder how much I’ll have ready by the end of the week?
This (and apologies for the poor paint job / image) is Inquisitor Emerson.
I play Warhammer 40K. I’m sure I’ve banged on about this in the past. Its not something I hide. Recently I’ve been bogged down in too many miniature painting projects for too many army ideas and, as is often the case with such procrastination, very little has been done to complete any of these projects.
But ages ago I had a daft idea for running my regular games with more of a narrative in mind. It doesn’t really matter if my opponent does the same, only that I do. And it means i can swap different detachments in and out of my force and as long it keeps to the overall story then I can justify keeping that army around rather than have lots of disparate elements that don’t seem to gel, or ever get finished.
So, I’m going to build something round Inquisitor Emerson. I was tempted to repaint the model as I’ve come on considerably with my painting but I’m fond of him so I’ll probably stick with it. I have a few ideas of a wee retinue that would follow him about and would join him in games as required. Also, two other Inquisitors, named Lake and Palmer. Just because.
I have a game coming up on Sunday so I think I’ll write a wee background story and one that help theme my army. Let’s see what I come up with.
After Unearthly Child, after The Daleks, after The Edge of Destruction, after Marco Polo…
The Keys Of Marinus.
This is the first story (not counting Marco Polo, which very little of has survived) where we properly see the Tardis crew working together. Everyone shines. And despite the odd dialogue fluff it’s brilliant. The sets are simple and effective, and I’m a sucker for decent miniature work.
Episode One : The Old Guy’s machine (the old guy that isn’t The Doctor) is fucked up.
Ep 2 : If it all seems too good to be true… Also, trust Barbara you idiots. Honestly, she’s worth the three of you put together. Also, also… Brains in jars!
Ep 3 : Because of William Hartnell being on holiday it’s Companions and Pals! It does go to show that Hartnell’s supporting cast are excellent. And bloody imitation microkeys. Gah!
Ep 4 : The Snows of Terror! The Day After Tomorrow! The Beast From The East! Ahem. Sorry about that. And Ian? Brilliant idea leaving Barbara with the fur trapper. He’s not dodgy at all. Also, Susan does a fair amount of moaning and screaming, and in her defence I’d probably do the same.
Ep 5 : Oh no! Not the glass factories in the desert! And yay! The Doctor is back from his hols!
Ep 6 : I really don’t know what’s going on anymore. The whole trial / investigation lark is a tad out of place. Enjoyable, but odd.
So, there we go. All in all, a good romp. The last two episodes could have done with a rewrite and a change of pace, but 145 mins well spent.
Tomorrow, if I have time, I might crack on with The Aztecs.
There are articles across the interwebs certain it’s not anything to do with the big two (DC or Marvel). A number of them mention publishers like Image or Dark Horse and the kind of properties they (the writers of said articles) have in mind.
But I’m hopeful a forthcoming movie will be based on a character from The Galaxy’s Greatest Comic.
Other than Judge Dredd, there are loads, LOADS, of characters in 2000AD who could carry a really exciting film.
Rogue Trooper. A genetically engineered soldier, the last one of his kind, who searches for the General who betrayed his own.
Strontium Dog. A mutant bounty hunter business.
The A.B.C. Warriors. Seven warrior robots drawn together to go to Mars and fight for humanity.
Nemesis the Warlock. A demon shaped alien who fightes against the fascism of a distant future earth.
There are loads, loads more. I’d love for a Nemesis/A.B.C. Warriors movie. That kind of thing is probably unfilmable but, my god, it would incredible to watch.
Of course, I’d be equally as happy with a sequel to Karl Urban’s Dredd.
As I claw my way out DEFCON 1 (not quite to DEFCON 2, but I’m definitely not as self-destructive, or just plain destructive, today) I was thinking about small moments of kindness and, while I don’t depend on them, how appreciative I am when they happen.
And, when I remember to do so, I like sharing kind words to folks. It’s not about me or “look at me, ain’t I grand”, but some people rarely hear a kind word and I’d always rather be kind than the alternative.
Mental Illness is a real thing and it’s everywhere. And kind words do help.
I was doing my internet banking, seeing how poor we are in a month that has five weeks between paydays, and while I was trying to reconcile things I saw a wee button at the bottom of the window.
“Got a problem or question? Chat to an advisor,” it said, or something quite like it.
So I clicked on it.
You: Hey William
William: This service can provide you with general help and guidance.
It cannot be used to give product advice or deal with queries relating to personal accounts.
We would never ask for your full account, card or logon details, memorable information, passwords or PIN numbers, or ask you to transfer money out of your account.
Can I take your name please and how may I help you today?
William: Hi Alistair, how can I help you today?
You: Are you having a good day?
William: Yes thanks, I hope you are too.
You: i certainly am. I don’t have a problem. Just saw the chat button and I thought i’d spread some happiness. I hope the sun shines on you today. And I mean that in an actual, emotional and spiritual way. 😀
William: That’s much appreciated, Alistair. Many thanks and the same to you.
This is the sound my mind is currently making, this or something very close.
It’s such a strange thing. The last few days have been so bad, so dark, that it’s really difficult to think clearly about anything at all.
Am I at risk? I don’t know. I don’t think so. Certainly I don’t have a plan.
That’s the trick with reaching DEFCON 1. Usually that’s,
1. Everything is worthless.
2. I have a plan for ending my life
3. I have the means to do so.
4. I have reached that point where I’m calm/resigned/comfortable with my imminent demise.
The first time was around a year and a half ago. I woke up that morning and I knew, I just knew, that today was the day. Pills and booze. That was the plan. I’d given up and I was entirely comfortable with ending it all.
The second time was a much faster deterioration. I had returned to work (not long after the unexpected death of my wee sister) and I was finding it had to complete basic tasks. And I was telling myself that I should be doing what was my usual job and beating myself up when I was finding the even the simple stuff too much. It wasn’t long before I was back in DEFCON 1.
The hospital happened.
And that was a good thing. That was last summer. The last year has had its ups and downs.
Right now, today, as I type this, I’m at DEFCON 1 & 1/2.
I’ll keep taking my pills. I’ll keep working on my CBT. I’ll try to keep my mind occupied.
Hopefully soon the sound my mind make will be a bit more like this: