Desert of Zin

Right, before I begin assume there is a super-spoiler warning in effect.  I’m not going to blank out any storyline I mention so if I spoil the film for you (which would be difficult, the film easily spoils itself) it’s entirely your own fault…

This film is, to not put too fine a point on it, baws.  Complete and utter testicles.

I was thinking about giving a blow by blow account of what happens and where it falls down, sometimes scene after scene.  But that would involve spending too much actual though on the film and I’d like to avoid that.  I’d rather not recall too much of what happens in the film, it was that bad.

But I will cover a few key points.

1. How come when humanity is seen to be beyond saving (and they do a good job of bigging up how crap we are as life on Earth),  a scene at a cemetery with Jennifer Connolly’s character and her step-son played by Jaden Smith is enough to convince Klaatu that Mankind is worth saving.
2. Keanu Reeves is exactly as bad as you’d expect.
3. Jaden Smith is bad, just plain bad.
4. And his character would have been better being killed off at some point, accidentally by US troops would make a kind of sense, partially to heighten the sense of mankind fighting against their own violent instincts and partially because I thought the kid was a dick.
5. Gort turned into some kind of disintergrating dust cloud, much like the Galactus force from the second Fantastic Four movie.
6. And it was just plain ol’ bad…

There are more, many more points I could raise but I can’t.  I can’t bring myself to think about the film anymore.

You have been warned.

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