I had a whole screed written about this but my computer crashed and I lost the file I tend to put blog ideas in. Ah, well.
Long story short…
- last summer
- suicide attempt
- 4 weeks in Gartnavel Royal Hospital for change of meds and being kept safe
- regular meetings with GP
- work let me go
- started CBT
And I’m still here.
My management were really good about it. But they had to let me go eventually.
Oh, FYI, Gartnavel Royal staff are brilliant.
Obviously I’m leaving out the finer details. But the fight for sanity continues.
Let’s be honest here. My interest in writing anything at all died on its arse. Sure I’d have moments where I missed the thrill of putting pen to paper but generally? Nah. Forget it.
So, has anything changed in that regard?
Maybe. Kind of.
There was a recent submissions window for the Black Library, which is Games Workshop’s fiction publishing arm. They were looking for a 500 words of the start, or thereabouts, of a short story based on one of their main properties. In previous years when they’ve done this I’ve shown an interest but never had anything ready in time. This year I thought it might be interesting to try but as I mentioned above, my heart really hasn’t been in the whole word bashing thing. So I left it.
And I don’t know what changed. On Sunday I thought, why not, and I bashed out five hundred words that afternoon. I polished it up and, with a summary of where I thought the story would go, I submitted it Monday evening. Now, I can’t actually believe I did that as THAT’S NOT SOMETHING I DO.
But it was on Monday.
So this isn’t me saying that I’m back on the wagon. Far from it. But if another submission window comes along that raises an eyebrow or a weird idea pops into my head that just won’t leave me alone, then I might bash some words out for it. I’ll see.
As for the Black Library submission? It took me by surprise. The whole actually submitting part of it. I’m not exactly expecting anything from them, but you never know.
I’ve changed things.
You may notice that the site is ugly as sin at the moment. That’s okay. I have things on my mind. I’ve not rage quit or had another breakdown or anything bad like that. It’s just that, well, I’ve been thinking things over since the beginning of the year and, while I’m keeping the domain and the site, I’ve realised that clearing out clutter, be that mental or physical, is the order of the day.
There’s such a thing as moving light, as while I’ve still got a lot of stuff ( a good generic descriptor there…) to clear through, it was long overdue that the lowly Website That Should Not Be Updated had, well, an update.
So, bearing that in mind, stick with me. The site will be cleaned up so that it’s a bit prettier, which won’t be difficult, and I’ve got some actual content coming.
Oh, and if you’re reading this after I’ve set up the layout the way I want it and it’s still as ugly as sin, tough cheese laddo.